the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
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We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
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You made out with two different species that night
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
He has the fingertips of a God
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