No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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