Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
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