Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
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All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
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Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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