the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
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It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
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Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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