So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
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Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
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trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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