I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Randomize