ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize