Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
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Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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