I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize