Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize