So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
smell my finger.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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