The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize