Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
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Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
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Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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