That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Send help, water and tortillas.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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