He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
i think i just lost a toe
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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