We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Pants are for mortals
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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