Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
oh god the rape fog is back!
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
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