is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
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that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
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We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
My life is pants optional.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
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