Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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