its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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