I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
You smell like stripper and shame
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Randomize