u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
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Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
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I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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