i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Randomize