I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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