Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
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