wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
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