Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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