I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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