i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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