The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
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he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
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I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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