Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize