Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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