if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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