Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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