My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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