Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
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