Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
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I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
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