Got a toothbrush?
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Let's paint friendship bongs
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
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