You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
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