i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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