I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
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Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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