My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
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i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
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