Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize