please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Randomize