How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
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