conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize