Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize