She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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