my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
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This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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